please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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