Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
