I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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