She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
