Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
