I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
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Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
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I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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