And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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