Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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