Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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