just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
