What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
