I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
