I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Can I color on your dick again?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
