whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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