How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my phone needs a breathalizer
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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