No awkward lesbian experiences without me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
