Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
