Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
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I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
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All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday