Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass

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  (860): I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass http://tfl.nu/kwec
  Replies (24) Good night (1452) Bad night (5248)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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  (206): Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry. http://tfl.nu/kkw8
  Replies (7) Good night (3809) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.

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  (314): I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle. http://tfl.nu/i8jn
  Replies (35) Good night (4679) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?

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  (262): Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat? http://tfl.nu/beg4
  Replies (64) Good night (11061) Bad night (1888)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love

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  (561): I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love http://tfl.nu/jtcg
  Replies (15) Good night (1230) Bad night (3614)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend

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  (617): Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents? (1-617): Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend http://tfl.nu/hheb
  Replies (28) Good night (3728) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.

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  (203): just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college. http://tfl.nu/ajs9
  Replies (13) Good night (4329) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.

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  (510): Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/2xfe
  Replies (34) Good night (1759) Bad night (9879)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time

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  (403): I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time http://tfl.nu/r2ul
  Replies (12) Good night (2424) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"

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  (925): she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob" http://tfl.nu/t96e
  Replies (15) Good night (4548) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?

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  (415): Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me? http://tfl.nu/ppme
  Replies (8) Good night (1977) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.

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  (678): Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS. http://tfl.nu/1c5m
  Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?

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  (334): My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace? http://tfl.nu/t8sy
  Replies (13) Good night (2445) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year

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  (775): Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year http://tfl.nu/q4wn
  Replies (1) Good night (296) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Where did you go?

  (1-925): View more from California

  I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.

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  (925): Where did you go? (1-925): I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever. http://tfl.nu/3xtr
  Replies (0) Good night (590) Bad night (185)

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