i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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