we have officially lost it.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot