And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
