Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.

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  (770): i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it. http://tfl.nu/8iw9
  Replies (54) Good night (4525) Bad night (565)
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  (562): View more from California

  Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop

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  (562): Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop http://tfl.nu/vzd0
  Replies (78) Good night (4788) Bad night (1407)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.

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  (503): if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up. http://tfl.nu/w9vg
  Replies (26) Good night (1328) Bad night (6768)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up

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  (412): I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up http://tfl.nu/fu0m
  Replies (22) Good night (5539) Bad night (2865)
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  (310): View more from California

  thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!

  (1-310): View more from California

  you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?

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  (310): thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee! (1-310): you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right? http://tfl.nu/vyk6
  Replies (30) Good night (12062) Bad night (1454)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.

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  (352): She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject. http://tfl.nu/69m3
  Replies (9) Good night (1568) Bad night (2406)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I don't understand but I'll be there in 5

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  (860): Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt? (1-860): I don't understand but I'll be there in 5 http://tfl.nu/rms0
  Replies (7) Good night (3451) Bad night (829)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents

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  (814): the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents http://tfl.nu/oebu
  Replies (3) Good night (2032) Bad night (715)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"

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  (573): He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut" http://tfl.nu/oeuu
  Replies (3) Good night (1270) Bad night (544)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.

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  (413): Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens. (1-413): A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck. http://tfl.nu/qib0
  Replies (9) Good night (1521) Bad night (693)
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  (845): View more from New York

  From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.

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  (845): From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend. http://tfl.nu/h8l3
  Replies (12) Good night (503) Bad night (1464)
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  (661): View more from California

  I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.

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  (661): I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body. http://tfl.nu/1u6s
  Replies (1) Good night (894) Bad night (458)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league

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  (973): I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league http://tfl.nu/mvb2
  Replies (2) Good night (1378) Bad night (448)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.

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  (773): I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother. http://tfl.nu/a7sz
  Replies (3) Good night (404) Bad night (1215)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.

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  (503): Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now. http://tfl.nu/72i7
  Replies (0) Good night (369) Bad night (710)

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