Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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