I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
