There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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