You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
