I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
