i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
