i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize