can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
