Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
