nut hugger
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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