Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
