i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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