What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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