im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
