Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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