White coat. Heels.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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