just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The Olympian is in my bed
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
