i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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