If that was your dad, he is hot
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
