Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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