Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
