Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
