I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
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the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize