I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im holly from the hills drunk
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
