i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
