this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
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You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
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Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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