2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The air was thick with penises
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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