my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
