Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
