Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
