I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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