I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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