I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
