it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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