it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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