Dual....:-)
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
