when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize