And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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