U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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