he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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