did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
