Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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