that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
