So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
