Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Randomize
