i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
