Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So vagazzling was a success
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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