"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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