When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
